I told you, call me Captain
by HalfJillHalfJack
Summary: Kendall reluctantly steps up to become Katie's troop leader for her Girl Guides. Managing to screw it up in the only way Kendall can. Will the guys help him out or make things worse? what do you think? MULTICHAP
1. Go for it

**Author's Note: Okay so I decided to write this from some bugging. I referred to Kendall running Katie's girl guides in my other story: hold me I'm scared. So this is a step by step on how he essentially screws it up **

"It's so nice that your son is little Katie's Girl Guide leader." Jennifer Knight stuck the order tag on the counter and grabbed her order of food. She smiled warmly at her fellow waitress Jill. She liked it when someone brought up the NICE things Kendall did. "Yeah," she told her beaming with pride. "They didn't have a leader and Katie was really keen to be involved. I couldn't do it because of work, so Kendall reluctantly stepped up, he's actually become very... enthusiastic. More like very competitive."

She thought back to the night where Kendall finally agreed saying in his 'hockey-planning-determined voice' that they would be the best girl guide troop in the world. Saying they would sweat, eat and breathe the art of Girl Guide-dem.

Jennifer neglected to remind him that they were only seven-year-old girls and stopped Katie before she corrected Kendall that she was technically a brownie.

Then Kendall had run off to call Logan, probably to get him to explain what a girl guide actually was to him.

******BTR*******

Kendall walked down the line of seven-year-olds. He had face black under his eyes and inspirational music played in the background on a small cd player.

Katie rolled her eyes and anticipated a speech about selling cookies in hockey terms and calling them soldiers.

"Men" he began. Well… that was new.

"We are going to be working towards your-" he squints at the clipboard Katie had provided as a thank you present when he agreed to lead the group of seven-year-olds. Well actually more like supervise… wait no- that wasn't right either. Participate? No matter.

The clipboard contained information he was meant to teach them about for their new patch they were earning.

Kendall normally considered this information as more of a guideline. Anyway it was usually boring, like here; turn off your tap more, and you can have a 'water patch.'

Kendall preferred the patches that were more exciting; you had to **earn** those uniquely illustrated tiny pieces of material God dammit! Well at least that's how Kendall saw it. You don't become captain of your team unless your being kick ass. Kendall believed this to be the number one rule of life. So Kendall being well… Kendall he also felt that this also applied to Girl Guides...Brownies, whatever!

"Your 'Go for it patch.'" he read muttering straight after, "What the hell does that even mean?"

He scan the list of requirements "Blah, blah check you pulse before an after exercise blah wait. What's this… take part in a team sport such as baseball or soccer?" a scary smile blossomed over his face.

"Alright soldiers." Kendall said sternly snapping his attention back to the line of girls who jumped to attention in surprise. "Fieldtrip!" he practically sang, turning flamboyantly on his foot and led them to the front yard. He stopped in the doorway, ushering them out only pausing to grab his bag and chucked a few things in it before following them outside.

"Wait here," Kendall instructed pulling out his phone and walking a few paces away. The girls collapsed lazily on the ground in response.

Kendall punched in the first number on his speed dial; the phone rang twice before his friend picked up.

"Hey I need your help- no were not going to cook anything! Okay thanks, see you in five, yeah, yeah I'm always nice to them, bye Loges."

Kendall hung up before hitting number two on his speed dial, waiting a frustrating amount of time for someone to pick up.

"Hey I need your hel-yes I'm at a brownie meeting. Wait. James, it's not what you arggh jerk."

'Note to self' Kendall thought angrily to himself 'demote James to speed dial number three,' he punched in speed dial three and waited for Carlos to pick up.

"Hey can you help me out? I don't care if your eating lunch, look I'll buy you a corndog, fine two, cool. Oh hey can you get James to come, because he hung up on me, yeah, yeah I got it two corndogs, see you in five."

Kendall hung up the phone and felt a tug on his sleeve.

"Where are we going captain?" one of the girls asked staring up wide-eyed at him.

"All in due time," he promised, the little girl only looked confused by this, "Move out." Kendall said gesturing to the footpath. He was lucky the rink was only a few blocks away, otherwise he'd have to organize for someone to drive them places (well Logan would organize it- for some reason his Girl Guides' parents didn't like him that much…) and then he'd have to have real permission from their parents. Not that he was doing that now- but he thought they were close enough for it to still count as Knight residence. Right?

With that not really in mind at all he led them down the street. It's not like he'd let them get hit by a car or anything.

Well he'd tried to pay attention…

Nobody was hurt so it was irrelevant.

******BTR*******

"Why are we at the ice rink?" Katie asked Kendall spuriously with her eyebrows narrowed. "Were earning a new patch- I told you team sports or something," Kendall said not concentrating as he scanned the foyer for the guys and saw Logan sitting on a bench, skates next to him reading a book. Typical.

Kendall turned his head to read the title. 'The rules and regulations of Girl Guides'- geez it was like he didn't trust him or something!

Logan looked up warily at Kendall. What had he done now? He'd only been troop leader for two weeks and he didn't know how the association hadn't booted him off yet. If his research was correct- which it was, Kendall wouldn't last the month.

"Looooogannnn" Kendall cooed noticing his disapproving stare, no doubt understanding what he was about to propose.

"We are not teaching seven year old girls how to play hockey!" Logan shot him down immediately. "I would never Logie! We have to show them how to skate first," Kendall said in mock offensive. When Logan's expression didn't change Kendall told him "they were younger when they first played hockey" then he promptly called him "sexist" to back up his argument.

He took Logan's now tongue-tied demeanor as a victory (he'd take them where he could) and led the eight girls to get sized up for their skates. He was surprised when a few whined saying they wished they'd known to bring their own. He held Katie's out for her before she got angry with him and she smiled at his odd preparedness. He snorted at her- he had been a boy scout, they were know for that sort of thing.

Kendall laced up his skates next to a apprehensive looking Logan. He rolled his eyes and then moved to help some of the girls who didn't know how to put them on. He showed them how to click them close, as they were only rental skates.

Logan smiled. He was actually pretty good with them, when he wasn't short of possibly killing them in a Girl Guide related accidents, but they did seem to oddly like him.

But Logan couldn't help but notice they were calling him captain? What was up with that?

Kendall didn't really want them going out till James and Carlos got there, that decision was solidified once he saw most of them wobble pathetically when they stood up on their skates.

At that moment Carlos barged through the door with a less reluctant looking James than Kendall anticipated. Probably since they were in the rink.

They walked past Kendall, with James mouthing 'you owe me one' and Carlos 'corndogs' whilst also holding up two fingers. They moved to sit down and lace up there skates without speaking.

Kendall stepped out onto the ice, a familiar smile spreading across his face as he heard the smooth sound of his skates making contact with the ice.

He motioned for the girls to follow him. Katie and two other girls sped out onto the ice giggling and spinning around in circles. Katie was by far the best skater. Which was not surprising- Kendall had been the one to teach her how to skate… well Logan had helped but that wasn't important.

The five other girls looked hesitant. Kendall made a grander gesture for them to follow, two of them looked away in disinterest. Two quaked in fear and the last girl looked like she was about to cry. Kendall being Kendall just repeated the gesture and then sighed skating towards the entrance edge. They'd work it out.

The three boys laughed from a short distance at Kendall trying to coax the terrified seven-year-olds on the ice. He looked ridiculous. They watched as he sighed and skated towards them. They would have helped by this point but they anticipated a 'Kendall speech' coming on that the girls wouldn't understand. Hell- they barely ever understood what he was talking about when he got all 'speech mode' (he got better at the whole speech making thing when he was older.)

After the five girls looked bewildered the three boys moved in.

"It'll be okay," Logan promised the girls, "It's not even that scary once you get started." He made a gesture to the other boys to say something "It's totally fun." Carlos added helpfully.

"And we'll hold your hands so you won't fall and there's a rail too!" Logan told them enthusiastically, he elbowed James who winced and then nodded.

The girls agreed and hobbled worriedly onto the ice clutching onto Carlos and Logan. They explained briefly the basics of pushing your feet out to glide forward.

"Ahem" James said motioning to himself waiting for one of the girls to try and take his hand. As it stood Logan had two girls enthusiastically clinging to him and the other three were fighting over who would get to hold Carlos' hand.

"Well you didn't really contribute to the speech," Logan said smiling at him wirily. The last girl gave up on Carlos and grabbed Kendall's hand as the two other boys were crowded.

"What about Kendall?" James asked bewildered.

"Hey I started the let's get on the ice speech thank you," Kendall defended, moving at a snails pace across the ice. "Pshha barley." James muttered skating past them, hands empty of little girl.

"How's this going to get our patch captain?" The girl clutching Kendall asked and a couple of the other girls nodded ferociously. This must be some kind of punishment.

"Captain?" Carlos questioned snickering, "I know right." Logan said in agreement laughing. Kendall poignantly ignored them, "well you have to play a team sport and what's better than hockey?" Kendall said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"That reminds me I should get the sticks…" Kendall muttered skating away. The girl fumbled then regained her balance continuing to skate with a triumphant smile on her face. She then frowned, why would they need sticks?

Kendall returned to the rink an armful of hockey sticks in hand; he called for everyone to gather. James, Katie and the other two competent skaters made it towards Kendall in seconds. James spraying him with ice in the process as he stopped, this seemed to be his form of passive aggressive revenge.

'Also known as being an ass,' Kendall thought sourly.

"This is not going to end well," Logan muttered to himself as he made his way to the center of the rink, his two girls still clutching violently at both his sides. They could barely skate, how did Kendall expect them to play a game of hockey?

"Um Kendall?" Logan started to query.

"Not now Logan, I'm about to talk to my brownies," Kendall whispered harshly. Logan snickered along with Carlos at Kendall's seriousness. He was all rather gun-ho about this and Logan found it both amusing and endearing to how much he seemed to care about them.

Oh well what's the worst that could happen?

**Please review if you want me to continue this **


	2. Skate or Swim

**Author's Note: Hey, hey I'm back with another chapter I suddenly felt like writing for this story so enjoyy**

Kendall sulked as he floated around in James pool. It had been really hot this weekend and the guys had basically camped out at James' house; as he was the only one with a pool.

Kendall promptly threw a pool toy at James who was snickering at his expression.

"What has it been, two weeks? I still can't believe you had to have a meeting with the 'association of girl guides'" James air quoted with a motion of his hands and swiftly dodged another flying object.

"Who ever get's fired from a voluntary position?"

"I did NOT get fired, I just have to…. have a temporary supervising officer." Kendall mumbled; "Besides the girls totally forgave me!" he defended.

"Even that one girl in hospital?" James asked incredulously.

"Yes actually SOPHIA was really good about it," Kendall said articulating the injured girl's name from memory off the card Katie made him sign. 'See I care!' he thought defensively, 'enough to remember a name at least.'

"Nice dude, you remembered her name," Carlos whispered as he and Kendall fist bumped.

Logan watched at a safe distance and rolled his eyes in disapproval.

The hockey incident had led to many injuries and a probationary period of Kendall's troop for two weeks. Kendall also had to meet with a board and the parents.

The girls had successfully gotten their patch and Logan told them they were eligible for some other one about teamwork in a crisis, which they all seemed pretty happy about. They forgave Kendall saying that they now had more patches than another troop.

"But ANYWAY I totally won them over and get to keep my job so there," Kendall said triumphantly ending the conversation. "But I thought Logie talked to the-"

"Whose side are you on!" Kendall yelled knocking him off the floating pool chair and into the cold water with him.

Logan looked up from his book and rolled his eyes again at the ruckus in the pool they were creating. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately... And always right before Kendall did something stupid. Oh Lord; help him.

"Have you given any thought to what patch you're doing this week?" Logan asked Kendall, shaking his head uneasily.

"That's a good question SUPERVISOR," James said smirking from his pool chair that was a few meters away from Logan.

Yes Logan is the supervisor, are you surprised? Well, you shouldn't be.

"Asshole," Kendall muttered under his breath. James was really laying it on thick about how Logan had had to bail him out of this one. He was also now constantly comparing this to other situations where Logan had to help him out, much to Kendall's constant dismay.

It didn't happen that much, right?

"Eh I don't care, just read them out." Kendall said sinking further into the pool.

"Well okay, so you've started in 'key to active living,' Logan said rummaging through Kendall's shoddy paperwork of their previous work. "Okay so there's smile girl," Kendall groaned, that didn't sound fun. "Food power," Kendall perked up.

"Over my dead body," Logan muttered looking off into the distance having some horrible cooking related flashback of when they were 9.

Kendall pouted, "I've changed Logie!" He defended, his limbs flailing in the water. "Since what, Tuesday?"

"But everyone burns toast!" He defends.

"But does everyone's toaster catch fire?" James asked sarcastically.

"I put it out! Eventually… That's it, we can do a patch on fire safety!"

"No."

"Hell no."

"Pick again."

Kendall slumped further into the water frowning. His friends were so mean…

"Special interest? Wheels? Winter is great?-" Logan continued to rattle off, "We're SWIMMING in a pool! Ands it's not winter!" Kendall interjected, getting progressively more irritable. "Geeeezzz okay um then there's… Swim and skate" Logan said finishing the list.

"Did you say skate?" Kendall queried peering over at Logan.

"You are NOT teaching them how to skate again!" Logan yelled.

"Fine, fine, fine geez when I fell over for the first time on skates I got back up again, that's what your meant to do, right? Get back on the camel!" Kendall tried to defend himself.

"Firstly, you mean horse and secondly, you didn't brake your arm!"

"I could have…" Kendall pouted remembering how he had grazed his elbow and got a barney Band-Aid because it was the coolest thing ever, "FINE!" he sighed defeated.

"You said swim right? Why don't we just take them here tomorrow? I mean it's the hottest it's been in years, it's safer than skating and-"

"NO! Over my cold. Dead. Perfectly god damned dressed body will your little girl group-captain-calling drones come play in MY pool!"

**************BTR***************

"How does he always get his way?" James asked surrounded by little girls running into his house. "I ask myself that very question all the time," Kendall smiled pleased with himself and shrugged.

"You do not!"

"You're right, there are just some awesome things in life you really shouldn't question."

"You owe me Kendall- Put that down little girl; it's more expensive than YOU ARE!... I'm serious Kendall." James says looking at Kendall rather intensely.

"Yeah, yeah whatever you want James, outside soldiers!" Kendall yells distractedly as he directs the hoard of girl guides to the pool.

"Anything I want?" he repeated.

"Um sure?" Kendall responded over his shoulder unsure as he picked up one of the straggling girls and hauled her over his shoulder. She giggled.

"I'm saving it." James said bluntly as he followed them to the backyard.

"What?" Kendall asked confused. He really should pay more attention when people were talking to him.

"I'm saving it for later when I really need something, a promise is a promise right?" James asked smiling; he knew Kendall was a follow through on promises; he was a kind of person... Well, disregarding when plans were involved that is.

But they seemed to fall apart on their own.

Kendall groaned. "I can't help make you famous James- or invent hair gel that works in space!" Kendall added before James could interrupt him.

James pouted.

***********BTR*************

"Okay, as your aware there will be a supervising officer sitting in on today's activities." Kendall began as he walked past the girls in their perfectly practiced straight line.

"Do you mean Logan?" Katie asked.

"Katie are you holding the talking stick? Quit interrupting!" Kendall yelled; he was still admittedly a little touchy on the whole probation issue.

"What stick?" she yelled back.

Good point.

Why the hell had he just said that?

"Loges, remind me to get a talking stick later!" Kendall called over his shoulder.

"A what?"

"Well, why are THEY here?" a girl interrupts in a grumpy manner gesturing to James and Carlos stepping out of line.

"I OWN this pool little girl." James said hotly narrowing his eyes.

"I didn't wanna be left out," Carlos said pouting.

The girl stood back in the line after a short nod from Kendall.

James snorted, figures, he thought. What were they in the navy or something? And why did Kendall look so proud of his child abuse?

Logan would have to fix that.

"Okay, next order of business, who can swim?" Kendall asks.

Barely a quarter of the line raised their hands.

"Ok... go for your life!" Kendall gestured to the pool in a sweeping gesture and all of the girls pushed past him in a blur.

Logan and James looked up abruptly.

"Oh my frigging- KENDALL!"

**Author's Note: I was gonna have the rest of it but I liked where it ended. I thought it was funnier that way:)**

**Please review and let me know what you think…**

**Ps- I'm on leavers this week and I'll try and write some stuff, hopefully the end of hold me I'm scared but I'll see how I go with my arm.**


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